Word: lots
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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Approach #5. The Lets's Be Obnoxious Approach. Drink a lot. Try without any style whatsoever to lose your virginity. Get into water fights with kids in the dorm across the way. Buy a lot of Roger Dean posters and put them up in your living room. Cut down your roommates. Throw up at least once. Alienate everyone while you have a good time...
Approach #1. The First Week at Sleep-Away Camp Approach. This tactic is particularly recommended for those who have never been away from home for long periods of time. Prerequisites: a vacant, wondrous, slightly overwhelmed stare, a willingness to get out there and meet lots of people, and the ability to rant glibly about topics of no particular relevance. A lot of people seem to take this line, apparently reasoning that in the first week, blissful ignorance and complete openness make for the best approach. It's probably not a bad idea; there's no better time, ever, to meet...
...even talk to obvious assholes, they're not worth the effort. Refuse to reveal the essential details beyond name and rank, that is, don't tell anyone where you're from, what your SAT scores were, or what you think you'll major in. Stay in your room a lot. One warning, though: if you really go for this technique, it will color the rest of your Harvard career. If you start off paranoid, shy, or easily offended by your classmates, you might stay that way. In a few years everyone else will, too, so why not get a head...
Approach #3. The Standard Approach. Prerequisite: Desire to talk about your SAT's, major, law or medical school of choice. You must read all of the suggested books and go to as many University-sponsored events as possible. Always smile. Spend a lot of money, and get thoroughly lost at least twice, once on campus and once in Cambridge (which by some quirk of the Puritan Ethic lacks signs indicating the names of major streets, but has them for side streets, presumably working on the assumption that if you don't know the name of the street...
...Proust's A La Recherche du Temps Perdu, come right back at him with your A.P. scores (fours are dull), or your knowledge of physical chemistry. Lying is permissable, because no one will ever know the difference if you can effectively fake it. Make pronouncements about everything. Wear a lot of preppie clothes; LaCoste shirts and khaki pants are recommended. Topsiders are passe. Scoff at naive enthusiasm with a knowing, sardonic grin. Categorically refuse to be excited or amused by anything except yourself. Potential hazard: everyone will hate your guts. In many cases, that's exactly what you want, because...