Word: lovedart
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...what makes him a star. Disguised by day as a shy and unassuming lubrication-equipment mechanic, Carlson is acclaimed by night -- Could we have ; a big hand, folks? -- as Donnie Lovedart! The first few notes of a familiar tune by the Spinners come up on the sound system, and then he's off, moonwalking across stage with his shades down and an arrow ready, singing, or seeming to sing, "Cupid, draw back your bow . . ." Lovedart is an agreeable fake, a master of the command nonperformance, an angel, yes, but also a duke- duke-duke of the lip-sync world...
...trio called the Tidal Waves comes out in straw hats and Mexican ponchos to do the Kingston Trio's Tijuana Jail at 45 r.p.m. Donnie Lovedart does a hip- rolling dance and flips hearts backhand to the ladies. The two girls in housecoats (bad news, Kim, they're back on the bill tonight) demand "R-e-s-p- e-c-t." And in a strategic countermove, Buchan leaves Lili von Shtupp in the dressing room, teases out her hair and does her Whoopi Goldberg routine instead -- head rocking brainlessly from side to side, arms flopping in front of her like...
...Lovedart takes third place, after the Tidal Waves, and hands the $75 check to his fiancee for their wedding fund. (They're a lip-sync couple. They met on the circuit, and their courtship included a lip-sync duet of Paradise by the Dashboard Light, which could loosely be described as a love song.) Asked about his future, Lovedart concedes that he's thought about putting together a portfolio and taking it to an agent. "But I don't know how I would handle the success." What he means is that he's already been on television...
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