Word: lovelies
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Dates: during 1960-1969
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...their willingness to come to a far out, experimental place like Esalen. But something bothered him. It all seemed too easy, and two things seemed to be implicit. The first was that after each person confessed, broke down, cracked, poured out his should the others in the group should love him. The boy did not love these people. They were not his kind; he did not want to spend his life with them. He could see the horror of their lives, he felt sorry for them, he could even accept them, but he could not love them...
AGAIN the boy had mixed feelings about what was going on. On the one hand, it was very good that they were all looking at their bodies. A person cannot love and be loved until he loves himself; a person cannot love himself until he loves his body. That was fine--but it was again too easy. The boy honestly did not like Jessica's body, and could not quite believe it when everybody else said they did. What kind of honesty was this they were discovering? Was Esalen selling them a pack of lies about themselves that would send...
...felt at total peace. What was most beautiful was that Gabrielle was not treating his body like a sausage to be pounded, not like some piece of meat that had to have a sauce rubbed into it to give it taste--but with respect, with great care, and with love. She did not say it; he did not need to have her say it; because her whole body was saying it; her arms and hands and fingers were treating his body with love...
...very sensual, and his body showed it--but that, too, was fine, that was good. For as Gabrielle was giving him a massage giving him love, he thought that he, in return, could give her his body, totally, utterly, mindlessly, give her his body. That would be his expression of love--a love, like hers, which not words, only the body itself, could express. And he knew that she knew. This was not a job--although he would pay her for it. It was more than a job, more even than a ceremony--it was a ballet, a ritual...
Then they talked about commonplace things, and both laughed when she said she had married a Yale man. It was, the boy thought to himself, as though they were talking after making love. He was filled with joy. It was Thursday, after...