Word: lovingly
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Further evidence that Hite is on to something can be found in the nation's bookstores. A brief sampler of some of the titles that have lined the shelves in the past five years: Men Who Can't Love (Evans; 1987); How to Love a Difficult Man (St. Martin's Press; 1987); Women Men Love, Women Men Leave (Clarkson Potter; 1987); Successful Women, Angry Men (Random House; 1987); Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them (Bantam; 1986); and the bluntest title of the lot, No Good Men (Simon & Schuster; 1983). Most are how- to books that advise...
Hardest to swallow is the unrelieved bitterness and rage against men expressed throughout the report's pages. Women and Love so resonates with angry voices that the volume fairly vibrates in one's hand. Charges one of Hite's women: "Every man you meet still tries to hump you every way he can. It's about time we humped them back." Blasts another: "Men think they are so mature, but deep down they are such babies. They expect to be catered to. They whine and complain about everything...
...variety of women's groups in 43 states, ranging from feminist organizations to church groups to garden clubs. Her questionnaire listed 127 essay questions on subjects ranging from dating to hobbies to parents, many of them rather abstract. (Admits Hite: "You can quantify orgasms, but you can't quantify love.") After receiving the first 1,500 responses, Hite says, she made a demographic comparison between her respondents and the general U.S. female population. Then she sought to fill in spots to ensure a sample more representative of all American women by age and geographic distribution, education level, religion and economic...
...hand. "It's very hard to get a representative group," says Quinley. "I wouldn't say it kills the whole thing." Berkeley Psychologist Bernard Apfelbaum, a Hite supporter, believes it is not important to get a completely representative sample when delving into the field of sex and love. By virtue of their willingness to participate in the survey, Hite's women may be unusual, he says, "but they are giving voice to a problem in ways other women cannot...
...helpful. They enable women to examine what she calls the "internal barriers" to equality. In the late '60s and '70s, says Steinem, women focused on external barriers to equality such as a lack of job opportunities and low representation in government. With the help of books like Women and Love, she believes, women can now overcome internalized obstacles like their feeling that they must "define their success in terms of human relationships...