Word: mads
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...mad scientist stands over me with a laser pointed at my face. His fiendish helper claps goggles onto my eyes. I tense. A searing sensation rips into my face. As the laser traces tiny spider veins across my cheek, zapping them into oblivion, I hear a faint pop, pop, pop. It begins to sting. Yeow, I swear silently. Is that burning flesh I smell? Hey, Doc? Owww. Yeowww! DOC! Dr. Harold Lancer, my Beverly Hills dermatologist, is laughing. He had warned me to take some Valium before the procedure (or risk scaring off his celebrity clients, no doubt...
Like other Soviet youngsters who showed musical promise at an early age, she had no real childhood. "All I did," she recalls in her fluent but slightly askew English, "was practice like crazy mad." She spent her youth studying cello, composition and piano ("I love piano. I still play but not in concert"), and gave her first public performance at age seven. But her budding career hit the skids when her father, a prizewinning virtuoso bass player, was judged a political risk by the authorities. "He was incredible bassist," she says, "but he was so much exposed to the West...
...mother either sensed my discomfort or was just really mad about the poem thing, because she sat me at a table as far away from her as possible. This helped keep me from hearing the speeches, the theme of most of which seemed to be how she was never happier in her life. It was during these speeches I discovered that if I took big enough bites of bruschetta, I couldn't hear a thing...
...able to read them under the bedcovers with a flashlight, but now every issue of Mad magazine can be yours. This mammoth seven-CD collection (for PC only) is unabated puerile nostalgia: a comprehensive archive from the pre-Alfred E. Neuman years (1952-56) through 1998. The multimedia element lets you complete all the fold-ins, listen to all the plastic 7-in. (Free Gift!) singles and watch short videos of legendary artists like Mort Drucker at work. The comic strips themselves look a little faded and grainy on a computer monitor, but at least future generations will see what...
Ventura responded with a straight face: "As long as I don't get mad...