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...University of Maryland's Smith School of Business, offered a gloomy scenario: "Lacking confidence that the demand for what Americans make and sell will recover significantly anytime soon, businesses are girding for a long siege - slashing employment and dividends and hunkering down," he wrote in an e-mail. "They are preparing for a depression and the eclipse of American leadership...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Unemployment Rise Shows Recession Far from Over | 4/3/2009 | See Source »

...news was met with mixed reactions from the student body, as House e-mail lists erupted with conflicting opinions. Defenders of the speaker selection chastised those who grumbled that other universities managed to snag high-profile public figures, such as Hillary Clinton, who will be speaking at New York University’s Commencement...

Author: By Athena Y. Jiang and June Q. Wu, CRIMSON STAFF WRITERSS | Title: Energy Secretary To Speak at Commencement | 4/3/2009 | See Source »

...MOST CONFUSING JOKE was an email addressed to Weld residents from "Yard Ops." The e-mail claimed that a cockroach infestation had sprung up in Weld, and that budget cuts would force Yard Ops--as opposed to a legit extermination service--to handle the situation. The kicker? Residents were told that they should "please remove any used kitchen equipment, snack foods, dirty laundry, or other potential insect attractors from [their] room." Namely, staples of any college room had become an instant no-no. Or so some residents thought...

Author: By H. Zane B. Wruble | Title: Gotcha! Well, Maybe. | 4/3/2009 | See Source »

...Jeremy Patashnik '12 said he was not fooled. "[The e-mail] made a reference to "'you have to clear out your dirty laundry from your room,'" the astute lad noted. "I figured a serious maintenance request would not ask that...

Author: By H. Zane B. Wruble | Title: Gotcha! Well, Maybe. | 4/3/2009 | See Source »

Yard Ops could not be reached for comment, so the actual source of the e-mail remains a mystery...

Author: By H. Zane B. Wruble | Title: Gotcha! Well, Maybe. | 4/3/2009 | See Source »

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