Word: marinaras
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Thanks to movies like Goodfellas, Americans appreciate how witness-protection programs are supposed to work. A mobster may not be able to find decent marinara sauce where the feds have him hiding, but in return for his testimony, he can count on not getting whacked...
...also about letting your hair down. Past research has shown that adults tend to eat more around friends and family than they do with strangers. They shed their inhibitions about how it looks when they go back for thirds or order the alfredo sauce instead of the marinara. (See how much money families around the world spend on food each week...
...like Chiappini and Bilotti to us. Oh, we’ve heard the jokes: “Hey, Linguini Breath,” they say, “are you going to put some Communion hosts on your host-eroni pizza?” Sadly, we do not cry marinara sauce, but real human tears...
Using a large melon baler, scoop out balls of spam. Add to a med-hot sauté pan and brown. Once brown, pour marinara over balls and place on low heat...
Strain pasta and add to marinara and serve...