Word: mars
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...Joseph LaBonte, President and CEO Jenny Craig Del Mar, California
...general painted a picture far worse than he did last fall, when costs from overseas deployments to Haiti and the Persian Gulf led to canceled training and sagging readiness in three of the Army's 12 divisions. Shalikashvili warned that if the new money doesn't arrive by Mar. 31, the Pentagon will be forced to take "drastic steps": all 10 remaining active-duty Army divisions would lose their top readiness ratings, and the Air Force, Navy and Marines would drastically cut flying time and training exercises. Some worried House Approriations subcommittee members reportedly dashed off to lobby House Speaker...
...famous anchorwoman lured House Speaker Newt Gingrich's mother into revealing that he has called the First Lady a "bitch," raises a number of thought-provoking issues. Should Ms. Chung be redeployed from CBS to the CIA, in some department of interrogation and espionage? Should Bill let this incident mar his emerging romance with Newt? Should Mr. Gingrich be Speaker of anything, or should his mouth first be washed out with soap...
...With tears and prayers and tender hands, Mother and sisters made her ready for the long sleep that pain would never mar again, seeing with grateful eyes the beautiful serenity that soon replaced the pathetic patience that had wrung their hearts so long, and feeling with reverent joy that to their darling death was a benignant angel, not a phantom full of dread...
...Europe's largest onshore oil deposits -- right on the grounds of her cherished Windsor Castle. The would-be driller, Canuk Exploration Ltd. director Desmond Oswald, promised yesterday that the exploratory drilling will be a half-mile distant from the queen's ancestral home and won't mar her view of the family parkland. He didn't precisely address what would happen if the hoped-for 100 million barrels of oil starts gushing out. "I don't believe you can get 100 million barrels of oil just through a small pipeline," Windsor Mayor Dennis Outwin fretted. "It's bound to lead...