Word: marshaler
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...certain that the Class of '91 will elect me to be their Marshal? The answer, stunning in its simplicity, is this: I pledge to give the people not what they are supposed to want in a Marshal, but what they really want...
...fact, I had only the vaguest notion of what a Class Marshal is: someone who goes around begging indigent students for donations to Harvard, makes sure the bar is well-stocked at the 25th Reunion and by doing these things, is somehow supposed to represent his class as a whole...
Before my senior year, being Class Marshal seemed like the sort of worthless thing that people would only do to boost their ego or to pad their resume. But yesterday, as I talked to the woman from the alumni office, I suddenly realized that I do need something impressive enough to bump "Leverett House Film Society" from my resume, and, since there is no Spanish Club at Harvard, being Class Marshal might not be that bad an idea...
...moment of this realization, something deep within me--something dark and nameless--snapped, and it was then that I began to accept--and even embrace--the fact that I will be my class's Marshal...
...favor of a very, very small, piddling, embarassingly cheap Class Gift. If I am elected Class Marshal, I promise not to ask anyone for a donation for a Class Gift. I know that you have better things to do with your money than give it to Harvard; with me as Class Marshal you won't even have to defend the morality as your cheapness by linking Harvard's investments with the spread of acne in the Third World...