Word: marv
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SENTENCED. MARV ALBERT, 56, the ex-NBC sportscaster with an X-rated sex life; for biting lover Vanessa Perhach; to a 12-month suspended sentence; in Arlington, Va. Albert, who admitted "I am sorry" in court, could have received up to a year behind bars and a $2,500 fine for his guilty plea last month to assault and battery...
...just TV news magazines. Consider all the local broadcasts featuring child sodomies and Kennedy delinquencies. Nor is it just television. How about Newsweek's cover story this week: "Galaxies: How the Universe Began; How it Might End." But not just weeklies. Even The Times has become fixated on Marv Albert's trial. Coz was correct in remarking, "Marv Albert's toupee falls off during sex, and the country goes crazy." But tabloidism isn't even limited to the sleaze factor. In that very same Newsweek, the story on Jiang features a half-page photo of the opening of Brad Pitt...
...with the dim sum. While Wall Street paraded record profits, in Hong Kong the sky was falling. Efforts to prop up the currency rocked the Hang Seng index, and the effect was more catastrophic than any galactic collision. By Friday, the Dow was as bitten as a Marv Albert chew-toy. Looks like George Soros has a lot more to answer...
ARLINGTON, Va.: Marv Albert is free ? but he should probably muzzle those teeth for a while...
Considering the obvious uncertainty of Marv's actual criminal guilt, Dartboard considers NBC's action to be highly inappropriate. All that we know for sure is that Marv liked his sex a little kinky. Many people on this campus would probably be a lot happier if they followed Marv's example. We say to NBC, re-hire Marv. Only then will Lady Justice cry, "Yesss...