Word: mascots
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Perhaps you are angry about the absence of an animate school mascot. (Incidentally, that rankles me too.) Or maybe you are having trouble accepting the "penny a minute" policy for overdue reserve materials. Or you may even dislike a capella. You obviously missed the Junior Parents Lunch on Saturday. Baked brie usually makes everyone feel better...
...mascot could seriously improve this unfortunate situation. Granted, the mascot might be stupid--most mascots are--but it would serve a valuable function for the athletic program and the College as a whole. A Mascot would add at lest one more fan to athletic events and in some cases that would be a significant percentage increase...
...mascot could also give the other fans some one to look at when attention to the event inevitably lags. Have you ever been to a swim meet? Or a field hockey match? Having a kid dressed up as a moose or a skunk or a cod could only help...
...mascot, other schools could steal it and we could become enraged and retaliate. Frats at MIT could engineer mechanical impersonations of our mascot which would appear and behave uncontrollably at football games...
...could rally around our mascot. We could rally against our mascot. We could just plain rally...