Word: mcdonaldã
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...Lahore, anyone with a craving for greasy food and a desire to meet America’s real ambassador can just waltz right into one of his six restaurants. Cast in larger-than-life statutes, Ronald sits in the lotus position atop four of Lahore’s six McDonald??€™s. With his bushy hair and red combat boots, the enormous clown confidently greets all those below...
...White House’s assurances that Americans are not executing a crusade against Islam, nothing conveys American benevolence better than a friendly clown in a yellow jumpsuit. Backed by thousands of employees, McDonald??€™s is actually out on the streets, humbly serving billions and billions of people, and showing the softer, flabbier side of American imperialism. Ronald delivers this unadorned and unequivocal message to all the world’s people: America loves to see you smile...
...than the anti-missile defense shield or the Department of Homeland Security, Ronald’s diplomacy protects our country. Yet no one has suggested a fast-food analogue to the Air Transportation Stabilization Board. The airlines aren’t the only ones affected by terrorist attacks. McDonald??€™s has long been the victim of anti-American violence...
...when disgruntled French farmers wanted to lash out at the forces of globalization, it was a McDonald??€™s that they chose to dismantle. Much more recently, a Saudi man entered a Riyadh McDonald??€™s and set fire to it, igniting it with a pail of petroleum. The alleged motive was to punish the restaurant for serving food during Ramadan. But it’s not hard to see the symbolic meaning in this act of terrorism, as Saudi oil mixed with American grease to burn down the temple to the patron saint of decadence...
With more than 30,000 restaurants in 114 countries, McDonald??€™s is America’s proudest export, and more than almost any other company, it has left its mark on the world. That’s why for our sake, and the world’s, we must provide an emergency loan package to reverse Ronald’s retreat. Unfortunately, any relief legislation will likely be snagged up in partisan pettiness. Republicans, who hate everything associated with Bill Clinton, will never lift a finger to help his favorite restaurant. While at the same time, the small...