Word: mcgwires
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...computer. None of the players were the best in their position in the American League. Tino Martinez wasn't even the best Martinez (Pedro, Boston). Or the second best (that would be Edgar, Seattle). No, Timmy, that wasn't the year Reggie Jackson was on the team. And Mark McGwire played for somebody else. As did Sammy Sosa, Ken Griffey, Barry Bonds, Greg Maddux and Roger Clemens. Your best bet is to try to distract Timmy with candy. In the future, candy will be even better...
...time. While most good teams have three solid starting pitchers and a rotating journeyman, the Yankees had six great starters: David Wells, David Cone, Andy Pettitte, Orlando Hernandez, Hideki Irabu and Ramiro Mendoza. Their bench could have beaten other teams. The Yankees, in contrast to the attention-grabbing McGwire-Sosa home run race, got wins and bad Nielsen ratings by playing "small ball": by massaging the first run over the plate, and then another and another. Batters patiently waited for hittable balls and forced pitchers deep into the count. Coaches stressed on-base percentage over home runs. Everyone played crisp...
...just tell Timmy that baseball, for once, showed people how to live. While America's leaders disgusted them and the economy frightened them, they got a wholesome epic. McGwire and Sosa congenially ribbed each other into amassing 136 home runs while Cal Ripken ended his fantastically mundane consecutive game streak by silently slipping away because it was time to let someone new have a turn. And the Yankees played hard, worked together and won a lot of ball games. We got everything we wished We hope, when you tell this story, America won't need baseball as badly...
Creatine is the most popular performance-enhancing supplement that athletes use. Mark McGwire uses it. Michael Johnson uses it. And some Harvard athletes use it, too, despite discouragement from their coaches and trainers...
...would you really want Him to be your team? Sure, people would come from all over the world to see him go toe-to-toe with Ken Griffey Jr. and Mark McGwire, and the television contract would be fat, but would not the novelty wear off after a couple of years...