Word: melmac
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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...typical suburban household -- working dad, nonworking mom, teenage daughter just out of braces, chirpy son who dresses up as a vegetable for the school play, and yours truly, the alien who has to hide in the laundry room when anyone comes to call. My Saturday-morning cartoon reminiscences about Melmac have become one of the three most popular TV shows for children. A movie about my journey from Melmac to earth is planned for later this year...
...busiest long-shnozzed, four-toothed, 3-ft. 2-in. creature with burnt-siena fur anywhere on earth. Of course, there aren't many talking life forms here that look like me. I am continually being mistaken for an anteater, a dwarf orangutan or an aardvark, which on Melmac we encountered only in crossword puzzles...
...Tanner, and the guy who plays Willie, this dithery product of Hesitation ( School named Max Wright. He must have mastered the Dramatic Pause (wake me up at half time!) during his years on the stage at places like Yale and Harvard, schools as prestigious as Podunk and Dingaling on Melmac. Listen to him drivel: "There are moments when ALF's reality is so overwhelming, you have to catch your breath. He picked up a lingerie catalog one day, and you could see his blood changing, his temperature going up. How did he do that? ALF has eyes of stone, literally...
...still an instigator. If I fall in love with a show called Gilligan's Island, I'll turn the Tanners' backyard into a lagoon. If I don't like the President's policy on nuclear arms, I'll phone him on Air Force One and explain how we incinerated Melmac. Still the same old me: no moral compass, no sense of proportion, no fear. I still break things a lot too. I learned the hard way that you can't smoke fish in a toaster, puree a rock in a blender or light an oven an hour after you turn...
...into trouble because I am smart and energetic, even if my intentions are good. The people who push this idea say that in about half the shows I am bored, frustrated or hurt and trying to run away from home, something children do here a lot. Remember how on Melmac it was always parents who wanted to run away -- at least at my house...