Word: messiahs
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PRETEND YOU'RE an observant Jew at Harvard. After years of being an undergraduate prisoner to Charlie Tuna, limited to a meager malnutritional diet of Star--Kist and cheese--despite paying full board costs--Mike Berry, head of Dining Services/Mealtime Messiah has taken the first steps to setting you free. You can now be carefree and consume such kosher cuisine as a knish from the Dunster kosher table. For the first time you can be fully integrated into the dining hall scene...
...most famous of all false messiahs, Shabbetai Zvi, was succeded by the Star Kist Seafood Company. S.K. was the only way that students who keep kosher could eat lunch in their own houses. As long as the Mealtime Messiah kept the certified kosher label away from Italian Day, late-night exam snacks, and special fancy breakfasts, the kosher crowd kept supporting the solid white tuna manufactures, purveyors of the only HDS entree truly in line with the strictest Jewish dietary laws...
...this is not just a kosher thing, or even just a Jewish thing. To quote Handel's Messiah, this time of revelation brings "good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." Indeed, it is only fitting that the mealtime messiah appear this year, the 25th anniversary of Handel's work. And it seems that the composer knew what he was talking about...
...inscription above the Harvard Yard gates near the Square. Handel has paved the way for Berry to move his office out of the Union basement and into the Yard. Mass Hall had better watch out. But there's more. Look at one of Handel's descriptions of the Messiah...
...seems we've found the real McCoy. There's no reason to believe Berry will revert to S.K. the same way Shabbetai Zvi converted to Islam. The Messiah has arrived and even the most ortodox of campus Jews can Join the celebration...