Word: metallism
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...FRANCISCO--As Widener Library slumbers in the dimness of a year-long renovation, the new San Francisco Public Library shines in the California sun a continent away. For a budding scholar accustomed to Widener's overbrimming stacks, tiny windows and rustic chain-link and gun-metal decor, the glossy Main Library in San Francisco's Civic Center seems like a revelation, the Tiffany's of libraries. Four years ago architectural critics and booklovers alike predicted that the Main would set a new standard for libraries--a spiffy, sparkling alternative to old caverns like Widener. But as the glow of newness...
Lovers walk together in silence. Most everyone is silent. Two huge-bellied men walk by in shorts and running shoes. An older woman with a modern metal cane walks by; then four tall, deacon-looking men in dark suits and ties. Many people are alone, like me. A father pushes his infant daughter past me in a stroller. She looks up and puts a finger to her lip to signify that one should be quiet. I give her back the signal. We smile in a shared secret...
Trust me; your school doesn't need more money. It can invest in South Africa now. Universities are some of the richest institutions in the world. My school, Stanford, has an endowment larger than Milton Berle's. It has purchased ridiculously expensive pointy metal art installations and put them in the middle of a playing space for faculty children just because it had to use up some art fund. It needs money like I need a call from Milton Berle about that endowment joke...
...TEACHERS Distance learning is becoming more popular, and through the miracle of online classes and electronic grading, today's faculty lounge could become tomorrow's virtual help desk. Though a complete conversion is unlikely, outsourcing our education system might cost less than installing all those metal detectors...
...ORTHODONTISTS No more metal mouth, thanks to 3-D simulation programs that will crank out a series of disposable, clear-plastic "aligners" to shift your teeth into position. Already in clinical trials, this technology is geared for adults, so all you gap-toothed prepubes will have something to look forward...