Word: michelangelo
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...University Hall, Dean of Students Archie C. Epps III announced that he had worried about Michelangelo while lying in bed the night before. A special antivirus package was promptly purchased to protect the University Hall network. Total cost...
...Holyoke Center--which tested negative for Michelangelo--Registrar Georgene Herschbach was eager to share her insights on the virus with The Crimson's readership: "You want me to say that I was freaked out for a while. You're trying to make a story out of this. Viruses are out there in increasing numbers, and they require effective virus management. Hard drive management. But I don't want to be quoted on this subject. I have nothing to say about this. You're just trying to make a story out of what I'm saying. I would prefer that...
...Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney sounded a bit frazzled. "I don't think that our computers have been infected with Michelangelo. And even if they have, I think we'll be able to fix them. And even if we can't, I don't think this particular virus would be able to trigger a nuclear holocaust...
...MADE up that the last one. But Michelangelo did show up at the State Department--no lie. It's also been detected in Australia, in Europe, in the New York statehouse, in Leverett House, in Mather House, in Quincy House...Michelangelo is extremely contagious. Millions of computers are at risk of infection...
Unlike HIV, Michelangelo can be cured. As long as you don't boot up today, you can still avert disaster with a quick trip to the Science Center basement or OIT. They'll tell you what to do. It has something to do with scanners and disinfectants and "ex. A:/pkunzip scanv86b.zip." "Apparently, it shouldn't cost you any money this time...