Word: microsoft
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...moment he clicked on Send, the entire Microsoft campus in Redmond, Wash., went dark. And the darkness was very great. The a.c. shuddered to a halt. He heard his employees keening and wailing over lost data. His office was filled with creeping things and birds of the air. Beads of sweat dripped from his nose. Acrid smells drifted in, the website burning after a multitude of hits by Hittites, and he heard the clatter of hooves: a herd of crazed swine trotted down the hall, little pink eyes aglow, pagers clipped to their ears. On his way out, he touched...
...websites were restored. The leper was promoted to general manager and put in charge of the crazed swine, who, under the Americans with Disabilities Act, had to be kept in their current positions. Most of them were vice presidents, though, so it didn't affect the value of Microsoft stock...
...next day Microsoft developed Stained-Glass Windows, the most advanced spiritual software ever. The user could download a worship experience, including Scripture, Webpastor's sermon and Holy Sacraments, in 10 minutes flat. You knelt at the keyboard and hit alt/f7, and out the disk drive came a tiny white wafer. Bill Gates e-mailed God a copy of Windows and a note...
...Microsoft founder Bill Gates, a member of the class of 1977, and Microsoft executive vice president Steven A. Ballmer '77 donate $25 million for a new building and a professorship in computer science and electrical engineering. The building, named Maxwell Dworkin for the donors' mothers, is scheduled for completion this summer...
...March, when software license agreements expired with Microsoft, the College did not renew student groups' ability to use networked programs such as Word and Excel, leaving some in search of funding for the products...