Word: minivanning
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...surprised last week when I wasn't as outraged as almost everyone else seemed to be over the case of James Turner, 44, who found himself the unwitting victim of a global-positioning-system (GPS) device implanted in a minivan he leased from Acme Rent-a-Car in New Haven, Conn. Turns out the bug recorded him speeding in three states at rates from 78 m.p.h. to 83 m.p.h. Each violation, digitally recorded, automatically added a $150 charge to his bill...
...minivan passes me and rounds the Dangerous Curve of my youth, which I now realize saw perhaps three cars of traffic per day, back then. The van pulls over. A fit, Marine-looking man gets out and crosses the street. I think he's going to ask for directions, and I figure I might be able to assist him, since I used to be of this town...
...Buying a minivan with a VCR and television in the back Too many parents unthinkingly invest in a car outfitted with a newfangled "entertainment" system, then stick their kids in the back and drive happily to their destination, undisturbed by the usual squawked demands for soda and high-pitched infighting over whose foot is creeping over the imaginary boundary drawn down the center of the back seat. When the trip is over, the now drooling kids are ushered into a cabin/beach house where a Playstation is warming up. Years later, when the kids are 22 and serving time for armed...
...Help the kids help you. Beihl designates a backseat co-pilot to read maps, play those books on tape and retrieve siblings' dropped toys and snacks from the minivan floor. And here's a tip I dreamed up myself. Since dialing and driving don't mix, teach your kids to use the cell phone. That way they can call Amtrak to reserve a sleeper for your next trip...
...idea a little absurd that someone who counts the Queen of England as a distant relation and whose family is the epitome of the blue blood upper class could feel discriminated against at Yale. But there you have it. "As a matter of fact," Bush continued in the minivan, "I still believe that just because somebody's got an Ivy League title by their name doesn't make them smarter than anybody else...