Word: moms
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...first year of college, complete with typical bad eating habits—the freshmen fifteen accompanied me home for the start of summer—my mother, in her less-than-subtle manner, practically shamed me into my health club membership. After one summer back at home with Mom, whose zeal for raising our family on a fruit-and-vegetable-filled diet is notorious, I was fitter than ever. Still not the slimmest of students, I could confidently assert that my body mass index stood healthily under 25. I worked out regularly and ate a colorful and nutritious diet...
...Mom...
Cairo is not the hornet’s nest of anti-American rage that I had deliriously imagined the night before I flew here. It is not the city of thieves that my Mom warned me about. It is not the mercilessly hot environment that everyone complains about (it’s more or less a dry heat). In other words, Cairo has definitely not been “keeping it real.” It is a place that is torturous to pin down, where you can buy your McArabia sandwich from McDonald’s, and enjoy...
...dentistry and sundry other injections and deletions. It's not surprising that Extreme is crass, but it is also maudlin. (As is TLC's plastic-surgery show, A Personal Story. In its credits, words float across the screen: LIPOSUCTION ... SELF-ESTEEM ... BREAST AUGMENTATION ... DIGNITY ... RHINOPLASTY.) A stay-at-home mom on Extreme describes her surgery as a reward for years of self-sacrifice ("This is something Mommy's just gotta do for me"). One hour and one mostly bloodless depiction of surgery later, she's gone from looking like a Dorothea Lange Dust Bowl photo subject to looking like...
...pairs of shoes. In that case, it was a dream of self-realization: Harvard Law School and all that. In the sequel (subtitled Red White & Blonde), she's offering a much broader liberal and populist agenda to the "land of the free gift with purchase." Searching for the birth mom of the abandoned Bruiser, she discovers that Mrs. Bruiser is being used in experiments by a cosmetics conglomerate. Devoted though she is to lip gloss, this is too much for Elle. Off she goes to our nation's capital, a splash of riotous color in a sea of gloomy suits...