Word: moms
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Lilo & Stitch could bring good news to Disney and its Old Guard animators. It's a bright, engaging bauble with half a dozen Elvis Presley songs for Mom and Dad, and just enough sass--Stitch sticks his tongue into his nose and eats his snot--to keep the tweeners giggling. Lilo (voiced by Daveigh Chase) gives the usual lonely-but-superior Disney heroine a twist: she is a brat who has anger issues. And far from trying to save China or morph from mermaid to human, this Hawaiian handful has no goal loftier than the status quo--to keep living...
...year later, when the older woman learned she had cancer. With some urging, she agreed to move to a supported-living condo in New York, and her family found out that she had $20,000 in credit-card debt that she couldn't explain. Helping her was a struggle. "Mom's mostly competent, but not fully," says her daughter, 47. "She's very independent and stubborn and insists on doing a lot for herself...
...Often this comes with an epiphany: 'Oh, my God, Dad's getting old,'" says University of Southern California sociologist Vern Bengtson. A small event, like superorganized Mom losing her checkbook, may be the trigger. Or the recognition of parental decline may dawn gradually. Some offspring fight off the reality until a crisis hits, while others fret and nag long before their parents need any help. Many folks, Bengston points out, enter old age relatively healthy, still helping their kids with baby-sitting and financial support, but their offspring may overreact to small, normal signs of their parents' aging...
...whether something is objectively wrong that requires an intervention--not always an easy call. Experts suggest watching for changes in behavior, especially sudden ones. Has a formerly sociable mom become taciturn and isolated? Does Dad suddenly find paying the bills stressful? Does he have trouble seeing when he drives at night? Have there been serious lapses of memory or judgment, a pot left unattended on the stove, a large check written to a con artist...
...private consultant on African development issues. When the mother could get around only with a walker and the family felt she shouldn't live alone, a friend's trusted caretaker became available. When the Slocums grew concerned about her driving at age 85, they would probe gently, "Mom, are you still comfortable driving?" She would reply that she drove only to the grocery store, church and her women's groups. "It went in stages," recalls Slocum, "until she finally gave it up herself, which she hated...