Word: moms
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...Less pain for Mom, more problems for baby. Newborns of mothers who had EPIDURALS for labor pains are more likely to undergo blood tests and be given prophylactic antibiotics. Why? Epidurals can raise a mother's temperature. Since fever in Mom can be a sign of infection in the baby, doctors must do a workup...
...Will Win: Ignore everything I just said. This is still Hollywood. No one would dare vote against Lauren Bacall, whose smart, glorious career has yielded no prior nominations, and whose dragon-mom character in Mirror would not take kindly to rejection. Bacall has won the Screen Actors Guild and Golden Globe Awards, and she's sure to give a helluva speech...
Imagine the unease the typical final club member must have felt, sauntering through the yard with mom and dad during Junior Parents Weekend, only to come upon signs reading, "Support Your Local Bastion of Classist Patriarchal Elitism--Go to a Final Club Party...
Referring to Harvard's perfect Ivy League record this season, Jared said to his father last week, "Dad, guess what? Mom's record can never be broken...
...rates were steep, but its results were guaranteed. Only superior cattle with modified immune systems were used--cows being the cross-species surrogate of choice. (No cow will ever phone the National Enquirer with juicy palimony exclusives.) Clonees were allowed up to five babies per surrogate mom (no womb sharing). Those wishing more than five received generous volume-discount rates...