Word: moms
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Hard to imagine a less attractive life-style for a young man just out of college than going back to Bismarck to live with his parents -- unless it's living with his brother in the suburbs of Chicago, which, naturally, is what I did. Mom at least bakes a mean cherry pie. Joe, on the other hand, got me into a permanent emotional headlock and found some way, every day, to give me psychic noogies. For example, there was the day he gave me the job of figuring out how many jelly beans it would take to fill up Soldier...
...together and turned into what we now call the Metaverse, most of the big ad agencies got hammered -- because in the Metaverse, you can actually whip out a gun and blow the Energizer Bunny's head off, and a lot of people did. Joe borrowed 10,000 bucks from Mom and Dad and started this clever young ad agency. If you've spent any time crawling the Metaverse, you've seen his work -- and it's seen you, and talked to you, and followed you around...
...Mom and Dad stayed in their same little house in Bismarck, North Dakota. None of their neighbors guessed that if they cashed in their stock in Joe's agency, they'd be worth about $20 million. I nagged them to diversify their portfolio -- you know, buy a bushel basket of Krugerrands and bury them in the backyard, or maybe put a few million into a mutual fund. But Mom and Dad felt this would be a no-confidence vote in Joe. ``It'd be,'' Dad said, ``like showing up for your kid's piano recital with a Walkman...
...crypto-anarchists grab some Jolt from the wet bar and troop out, so now it's just me, Mom and Dad in the skybox. Dad points at the field with the stem of his pipe. ``Those 27 folks down there,'' he says. ``They didn't get any help from you, did they...
...lied about this successfully to Joe. But I know it won't work with Mom and Dad. ``Let's put it this way,'' I say, ``not all panarchists are long- haired, Jolt-slurping maniacs. Some of them look like you -- exactly like you, as a matter of fact...