Word: moms
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...college students need to be protected from themselves. It's all right for us to drive, join the army, sign contracts, and vote for rep. Kennedy at age 18. But we can't drink until we're 21, and we shouldn't be able to use credit cards without Mom and Dad's permission...
...lists and Gillooly gags, Letterman's Late Show was the Official Comedy Wrap-Up of the '94 Games. Ratings for his second Olympic week soared to 8.9 (compared with an average 5.8), the show's highest ever. What clinched it for Middle America was Dave's mom, who was sent to Lillehammer to report on the Games and banter on the air with her son. What a guy: he not only has higher ratings, makes more money and provides more laughs than anybody else in late-night TV -- he's nice to his mother...
...Basement packs a powerful psychological punch. For this reason, it is best not to go alone. Bring a close friend, a significant other, or, if at all possible, your mom. Your mom will love you no matter what dark sides of your personality surface during your expedition. Your mom will recount tales of past triumphs (a pep talk is necessary before entering the arena, especially on crowded days). You mom may have tales of The Basement from a more innocent time. My own mother has a friend who ripped her wedding dress out of another women's arms...
Miss me? Last week was raisin' hell in a handbasket! I "got friendly" with a female hockey player, a biochem major and a junior's mom! And guess what! She was the hockey player's mom! Bet you've never seen the likes of the Captain! But I wasn't too busy to pick up a copy of last week's FM, and you know what I think? I think you printed a bunch of letters about me `cause Norma wants to have breakfast with the Captain! Captain...
...read on a Dining Services "table tent" the other day that there's a "Recipes from Home" dinner or something that's coming up. I am scared to death that my mom sent in her recipe for "Weenies and Beans with Cauliflower Florets." Anxious in Adams...