Word: monkeyism
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...wait nor the $13 million-plus Axl Rose and company spent on its production. The whole thing is overproduced, every song a too-many-cooks-in-the-kitchen kind of affair. Much has been made about the decline of rock at the hands of Pro Tools, but a monkey could have mixed this album better with GarageBand. Throughout “Chinese Democracy,” Guns N’ Roses imitate every conceivable style of rock, sounding more like a bad tribute band than the rock messiahs they were once heralded as. Rose whines all over...
...arrived in town a few hours earlier than my boyfriend, so I ducked into a divey-looking bar in the heart of the French Quarter called the Copper Monkey (725 Conti Street; 504-527-0868) for a beer and an awesome burger. The toothless gentleman to my right regaled me with tales of the chef training he received in Angola (the state penitentiary, not the country). When I tried to buy him a drink, he waved me off, saying, "Women don't pay for beer down here," and sent one my way. I was really starting to like this town...
...Kalamazoo and Gill in Denver. Since the beginning of 2001, Stryker's foundation, which is called Arcus and has offices in both the U.S. and the U.K., has given away $67 million, about three-quarters to gays and about one-quarter to apes. (Stryker, who got a pet monkey as a gift when he was young, is a major donor to the conservation of ape habitats...
...video-turned-Internet-hit. This one takes place in a library and is about a guy who falls "head over heels" for the would-be-hot-if-she-weren't-wearing-enormous-glasses librarian. But like any good 1980s music video, it doesn't make any sense-a monkey, a man in a gas mask, and a rabbi all make absurdist cameos. So when the parody's creator, Dustin McLean, references them directly-"Now the rabbi's walking right behind me"-it's funny. At least, it's supposed to be funny. It is supposed to be funny, right...
...then, even in the craziness of a late-stage presidential campaign, the clouds of rumor and allegation, and the charges and countercharges - all the stuff Ross Perot used to call "monkey dust" - will clear for a moment and a blinding moment of clarity will distill the essence of the situation...