Word: monkeys
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...announcing that "the wet look is back" and something inside you snaps. You realize that things have changed forever. You're an outcast. No one cares that the Yeti's habitat is being encroached upon. No one cares that the social organization of the Burmese orchid monkey exactly duplicates that of professional football referees. Curiosity is dead...
...April's election. Not to be outdone, a brigade of would-be successors, all lifelong Democrats, proclaimed that they too might shun the party and enter the fray as independents or even -- horrors! -- as Republicans. Crowed the mayor, whose best hopes for re-election depend on a crowded field: "Monkey see, monkey do. The more the merrier...
Parents, be wise and heed this advice: watch how your children spend their free time, because playful pursuits have a way of shaping adult occupations. Take Gary Larson. As a youngster growing up in Tacoma, Larson collected lizards, snakes, frogs, salamanders and one monkey. Aided by his older brother, he regularly flooded the backyard to create swamps. Once, for a change of pace, the Larson boys hauled sand into the basement and built a miniature Mojave complete with horned toads. Throughout it all, Larson's parents remained remarkably serene, even that day when Dad, a car salesman, came home...
...after frolicking happily for awhile, Emo's animals start butchering each other. Emo's song ends with the monkey committing suicide "by screwing his head into the light socket/and the birds picked him clean/and the people thought he was a wiiind chiiime...
...hate Emo Phillips. He's weird, and he's whiny, but he's very funny. Whether his exaggerated appearance and style helps or hinders his material is beside the point--it all works. You'll leave singing the Animal Square Dance, electrocuted monkey-bone wind chimes tinkling in your head...