Word: monroe
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Following standard procedure in recent Harvard to some crummy motel or ruin our sacroiliacs in the sex disclosures, the stories establish their validity with quotes from Dean Monro's much-cited letter to the CRIMSON. You know the words by heart...
...Monro's famous "wild parties and sexual intercourse" sentence brought vivid images to the mind of the News writer. His playful lead ("Sizzling sex parties--where the girls climb the walls right along with the ivy--are the current rage at Harvard") is followed by images of "Cliffies going "bed to bed" in the dorms, an unborn child fathered by "the whole damned football team of an Eastern college," and other similar incidents...
Michael Shinagel, Peace Corps adviser, said yesterday that he and Dean Monro issued the invitation when Shriver's visit was made known last month. The Corps director will probably use Harvard as his "kickoff point," Shinagel said...
Alarmed at growing rumors among undergraduates that Johnson's Glo-Coat Floor Wax will induce mystic visions if it is heated and its fumes inhaled, Dana Farns worth and Dean Monro issue a stern warning against "this new form of sin." The Postmaster-General announces the discontinuation of the ZIP code system "because our own employees cannot learn it." Bell Telephone, having just completed the nationwide substitution of ZIP codes for area codes is reported annoyed" but says it is confident its employees can learn five simple numbers...
President Pusey "accepts with regret" the resignation of Dean Monro, who has been named the new president of Southwest State Teachers College. Announcing that he will become acting Dean of the College, Mr. Pusey comments, "I'd like to find out what's really happening in the College." As a Hallowe'en boax, the Lampoon distributes a parody of the Harvard Lampoon, which is, however, instantly spotted as a fake because, as one student says, "it was funny...