Word: mood
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...tough. Eight years ago, she cut her father, her two brothers and her sister out of her life as she single-mindedly pursued her tennis ambitions. In post-match interviews, her icy mood appeared the same whether she won or lost. Her dour demeanor contrasted poorly with that of her fellow Belgian tennis rival Kim Clijsters, whose joie de vivre and conviviality lit up the women's circuit...
...spent a lot of time alone, and a lot of that time was spent really feeling like my emotions were ruling my life, like I couldn't control my thoughts. What I discovered with the bulimia and later the anorexia was that it did provide something of a homemade mood stabilizer. It allowed me a few minutes, a few hours of feeling like I was able to calm my thoughts. My thoughts were entirely focused on food...
...started drinking when I was ten. There's a scene in the book where I talk about discovering the booze in the cupboard underneath the stove... It, too, functioned very briefly as a mood stabilizer... It elevated my mood, and just made me feel like I was flying. Instead of feeling like I was going up and down and up and down, there were no more crashes. For a few hours at a time, I wasn't terrified, I wasn't anxious - I was just high as a kite. Of course, like any other alcoholic, the reasons...
...just let me talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, until he finally said to me, "Has anyone ever mentioned the word 'mania' to you?" And I'm like, "Well, I've heard the word. What are you talking about?" He got me to describe the mood swings, which had never really been discussed before in all of my previous therapy and psychiatry. People had always focused on the eating disorder. It's understandable - it was a very severe eating disorder. It's not like you can blame them for being concerned. The association usually made with eating...
...Lord, yes. It's a day-to-day thing. I have a type of bipolar that swings up and down all day long. There are significant mood swings within a day, within a week, within a month. I go through at least four major episodes a year. That's really the definition of bipolar rapid cycle. But I have ultra-rapid, so I have tiny little episodes all day long. So the management of it makes it entirely possible for me to live at a highly functional level, to have great relationships, to have a wonderful marriage...