Word: morons
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...COULD RUN, but I could not hide. That evening, I staggered into the required meeting with Proctor Chuck, a nervous, wide-eyed moron whose insensitivity and comprehensive ignorance of Harvard perfectly suited him--in the eyes of the Freshman Dean's Office--to guide 30-odd freshmen through the year. Chuck welcomed us in his high, overeager voice and then, with the preface, "I thought you'd like to know something about yourselves," began to read each anonymous person's high school rank and SAT scores from computer printouts. We all stared at each other uncomfortably, trying to figure...
...training and Casey Stengel, when asked what Larsen was doing out at five in the morning, replied, "He went out to mail a letter." Or the time in 1977 when the Yanks almost traded Ron Guidry to the White Sox for once-and-future mediocrity Bucky Dent. Or the moron reporter who asked Maris whether he'd rather break Ruth's record...
...damn tittering moron-you lousy stewbum ... You 're going to cover the hanging like I asked...
Maury Leiter as "Ozzie" the magician is too cute for his own good, not quite capturing the look-at-me-and-laugh-at-a-real-moron role he is given. But George Melrod--easily the star of the show--as "Nick, Sam Nick", the detective, is the quintessential Columbo parody, from that cultivated unshaven look to his rapid-fire delivery. Nicks' exchange with Natalie in the interrogation room is really the funniest scene in the show; it makes you forget that he can't sing. Jay Bacal as the broker is aggressively mediocre, weighed down by an insecure voice...
...sellout. Earlier, the Star had hurdled another obstacle: a demand by the Communist Morning Star for a court order barring the new paper from sowing confusion among the laboring classes by appropriating its stellar name. The judge lost no time denying the motion. Said he, quite accurately: "Only a moron in a hurry would be misled...