Word: mortician
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...getting in and out of the hole wasn't even on my mind. You could add to that that escape wasn't a concept I had any real experience with. The worst I'd had to escape was Artie, a strange-looking kid at school whose father was a mortician. He liked to pretend he was carrying a needle full of embalming fluid around with him. On his notebooks he would draw needles spilling dark drips...
...Another mortician agrees to talk in more detail, but asks to remain anonymous because he's worried that he "might not live to see tomorrow's sunrise." He is a man of imposing girth, dressed in a silk shirt printed with fierce-looking dragons. His office is three flights up a dark, narrow staircase and everything in it?the stuffed tiger, the golden gong?is half concealed by red lighting and a haze of incense smoke. He insists government reforms are being orchestrated by officials with ties to larger funeral companies that want to see firms like his go belly...
...already dead, of course. That sad news had been known from the beginning. Huang's tormentors, you see, were not members of some professional kidnapping-for-ransom gang. They were morticians?employees of one of the hundreds of companies that compete for market share in Taiwan's bizarre and unruly funeral industry. In Europe and the U.S., "death care" is a multibillion-dollar business, dominated by colossal corporations with stock-market listings, ISO ratings, and executives recruited from leading business schools. It's a big industry in Taiwan too (residents spend around $3 billion a year on funerals...
Watching the show these days is a wearying experience. Ellen leafing through the Gay Yellow Pages: "Check out the abs on that mortician." A friend of Ellen's opening a bottle of Fire Island Lager and reading the cap: "I'm a winner! Two free tickets to Lord of the Dance!" The writers have decided to find humor in gay stereotypes, but there is something brittle and off-putting about this. While that strategy may work in the movie In & Out, Ellen seems to be reaching for a campiness that doesn't suit it. Those flaws aside, the real problem...
Randle and Schmitt bolstered their tale with accounts by Roswell witnesses, some of whom had earlier been ferreted out and interviewed by Friedman. The most notable of their sources was Glenn Dennis, who in 1947 was 22 and working as a mortician. Dennis told of receiving inquiries from the air base that July about the availability of child-size coffins and procedures for embalming bodies that had been exposed to the weather for days...