Word: mother-in-law
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...Care for a Lite Beer, girls? Your combined age is still low enough to make me guilty of statutory rape in 14 states just by looking at you...Just my-luck. When I was a kid. we didn't have girls--my family was too poor. My mother-in-law...
...exit. "You know, from an early age, I didn't get no respect--no respect at all. Not from my parents, not from my dog; the mailman bit me; the teacher wouldn't put me in the corner, only because she kept me away from sharp objects; my mother-in-law...
...invitation to speak at Harvard Class Day Exercises in 1957 because he felt he couldn't miss a single taping of the Honeymooners? You know I write all my own material? Nobody else wanted to. I don't get no respect. The mailman bites my dog. My mother-in-law bites the mailman. My wife is so dumb that she thinks cataracts are just the General Motors version of Lincoln Continentals...
...speech. See how much respect you lack for it. It's called "No Respect #19," and it's based on a routine which put me through college, although it didn't garner me much Respect, especially in light of the neighborhood and all. Stole the hubcaps off my mother-in-law, who was so old that she thought the mailman was just the Ford version of the Sedan de Ville...
...they know that none of your socks match? Do they know that I'm so fat that I think hubcaps are my mother-in-law...