Word: mother
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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From ten to 15 months, the child is a high-spirited conquering hero, exploring and manipulating the physical world. It is also the period, Kaplan notes, when mothers damage daughters out of a mistaken notion that girls are more fragile than boys. If a girl is encouraged to cling, she says, "the being-done-to element in her personality isn't sufficiently balanced by the sense of mastery and active doing-to." When the mother goes out, the child is almost always depressed, but baby sitters should avoid trying to cheer the child up or distract it with...
...emergence of the child's thinking mind, at around 15 months, brings wrenching change. The static world of symbols, images and concepts replaces the world of simple motion and action-the child can no longer simply flow through life. Children will begin to play the role of mother with their dolls, a sign of their dawning awareness that the mother is separate. The child's central idea is that it is not a conqueror after all, but a small and vulnerable self. Instead of wooing the mother, the child makes more and more coercive demands that...
...father's role in a toddler's life is important but subsidiary. He must make certain that the psychic separation of mother and child actually takes place. Mother and the baby "play dangerously on the brink of not being able to separate," and without an active father, the baby may grow up to be a dependent, adult-sized infant. But, says Kaplan, "mother is the one partner with whom the baby plays out the separation drama...
Does this mean that day care is damaging to a young child? "In an ideal world," she says, "the mother would stay at home until the child was 2½. But I don't want working mothers to be overcome with guilt." Her advice to mothers: stay home until the baby is six months old, then, if necessary, work only part time until the child...
Linda Collins, wife of a Chicago steel-worker and mother of two small children, has reluctantly gone to work as a night waitress on weekends to cover living expenses. Gladys Glazer, a retired secretary in Orlando, Fla., shops where second-quality vegetables and fruits are offered at reduced prices, and even there she shuns strawberries as an extravagance. Manhattan Lawyer Arthur Alexander delivers some letters in person to nearby business offices to save on postage...