Word: mother
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...down an invitation to speak at Harvard Class Day Exercises in 1957 because he felt he couldn't miss a single taping of the Honeymooners? You know I write all my own material? Nobody else wanted to. I don't get no respect. The mailman bites my dog. My mother-in-law bites the mailman. My wife is so dumb that she thinks cataracts are just the General Motors version of Lincoln Continentals...
...speech. See how much respect you lack for it. It's called "No Respect #19," and it's based on a routine which put me through college, although it didn't garner me much Respect, especially in light of the neighborhood and all. Stole the hubcaps off my mother-in-law, who was so old that she thought the mailman was just the Ford version of the Sedan de Ville...
...dirty no good so-and-so! Staying out until this late! What are my mother and I supposed to do? Steal the hubcaps off moving cataracts? No wonder you don't get no Respect! You don't deserve Respect!! And if you ever get Respect, we're getting a divorce, since your not getting Respect is apparently the only thing that keeps the bucks rolling in. If I were you, I'd feel lower than you felt when Mobil hired you to play a tankful of gas in that high-budget ad of theirs...
...they know that none of your socks match? Do they know that I'm so fat that I think hubcaps are my mother...
...That's it, lunkhead! We're getting a divorce! And I get custody of the pathos! You can have the oriental rugs, the mopeds, my mother, our daughter, our hippie, our hubcaps, but not one bit of the pathos...