Word: mr
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...duel stems from certain noxious remarks made by Mr. Holmes. To wit; "Stalin was a great man, and Russia needs more of them"; "Russians and other Orientals are the intellectual inferiors of other races"; and "I want to be President...
Given her Russian origin, and the fact that two of her roommates are Orientals, Miss Markof-Belaeff could not in good conscience countenance these remarks. Hence she challenged Mr. Holmes to a duel last winter, to be held in May as a kind of rite of spring...
Round one--the pies simply graze the ankles of the two participants. The crowd groans in obvious dismay. The second about is more satisfying, with pies be-purpling the chemises of both Miss Markof-Belaeff and Mr. Holmes. However, round three takes the cake (so to speak), when both participants approach within a foot of each other and boldly smush a pie in the other's face...
Duels are great things, she maintains, and a tradition that rightly should be revived when it can be done in non-violent ways. Since the duel, tensions between herself and Mr. Holmes have been greatly relaxed...
...What Mr. Gardiner does with himself is his own business. The reasons one has for joining a final club such as the Porcellian are best passed over in charitable silence. Why must we be assured of his affection for "people with a certain financial background"? No doubt he will row for Chase Manhattan as hard as he rows for Harvard, but is this really the sort of thing that the Crimson wants to hold up as virtuous example...