Word: mr
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...know you’re worried Mr. Sixpack, but I’m here to clear up all these misconceptions about Obama. Does he kill babies? No Joe, he hunts them, and dang it Joe if you say you’re against hunting I don’t think I can call you an American. Is he going to raise your taxes? No, but he might raise Sarah Palin’s! Did Obama pal around with domestic terrorists? Maybe when he was young, but that just shows what a tough kid he was. Is he black...
...guess I can now count on your revenge vote for Barack Obama, Mr. Sixpack? I’ll have to get going then, because ACORN pays me according to number of registrations. I’ll probably put in your name twice; it’s not like anyone reads these things anyway. But remember sir, now that Sarah’s winking at Joe the Plumber, we’re going to show her who is boss on November 4th, right...
...Nice kickoff return by Lehigh's John Kennedy. Happy Birthday, Mr. Pwesident...
...from their greatest feat. Check out how 233 people come together to thrash in largest air guitar ensemble ever seen. Stare in curiosity as Weezer’s Pat Wilson jams on the world’s smallest drum kit (although this record has yet to be confirmed by Mr. Guinness). Then peep 22 people perch precariously on a gigantic skateboard. Watch some hardcore gamers go through a grueling 10 hour, 12 minute, and 54 second Guitar Hero World Tour Marathon (you don’t get to watch the whole thing—thank God) and feel free...
...three o'clock snack is okay, but no desserts after meals, and you have to go to bed before midnight. Sumiko Watanabe, a pharmacist in Osaka designed this stress-free diet to help increase the metabolism of her husband Hitoshi Watanabe, who had been rather overweight. In due course, Mr. Watanabe lost 37 pounds and introduced the diet on mixi, one of Japan's largest social networking services. Morning Banana Diet books published since March have sold over 730,000 copies, and some have been translated and published in South Korea and Taiwan. The diet became even more popular after...