Word: mr
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...sublime landscapes awaits those prepared to venture off the proverbial garden path. Classical gardens don't get much finer than those at Chatsworth House in Derbyshire. Designed by Capability Brown in the 18th century, the grounds are so grand it's said they inspired Jane Austen's vision of Mr. Darcy's home in Pride and Prejudice; Chatsworth was used as the set of his house for last year's film adaptation. A huge maze, a rose garden and a 300-year-old hillside water cascade are just some of the pleasures set among the estate's 42 hectares, chatsworth.org...
...Subject checked e-mail and received one new message, from "Polonius J. Frootier" with subject line "INSTINTLY GAIN 3-5 MORE INCHES!!!!" Subject deleted message. The FBI tells us they are unable to locate any information on Mr. Frootier...
...Subject retrieved message from Mr. Frootier in Trash folder, clicked on link, read about the product's "elite scientific proof," and, after three minutes of apparent deliberation, placed order...
...Subject employed "Instant Messaging" technology to electronically converse with alias "CuteCaliBlonde22" (confirmed as Mr. Gerald Combs, retiree, of Lincoln, Nebraska). Perhaps tipped off to our surveillance, correspondents wrote largely in a private code, with such lettered combinations as "ROTFLMAO" and "IMHO," as well as symbols like " ;) " and " @:-) " - which looks suspiciously like a turbaned man. Our symbologists and computers have yet to decipher anything...
...Subject revisited Mr. Norgstr?m's website for remainder of night, periodically checking e-mail to reread message from Ms. Stafford...