Word: mtv
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...OFFICIAL MTV TERRITORY. WE ARE HERDED INTO A COVERED PAVILION WHERE WE ARE EACH HANDED each handed a manila envelope. Its contents: a sheet explaining the audition process (incidentally the first piece of hard evidence assuring us that we are actually in line to become VJs), a complicated and unwieldy set of release forms, an assortment of questionnaire-survey-applications and a leaky Papermate pen. Written on our envelopes is our official audition number. Mine...
...After the usual background questions, I hit the first substantive query: "Why do you want to be an MTV VJ?" Pretty standard. I should have seen it coming. I have no idea what to write. I skip to the next...
...ride on Space Mountain, but I am sorely disappointed. Instead, our reward for successfully navigating the rat maze and completing our applications is a good old-fashioned strip search. At the very front of the line, a team of security guards is closely inspecting each auditioner. Apparently MTV is concerned that someone may try to beat some humility into Carson Daly's smug noggin...
...WOULD THINK THAT AFTER SUBJECTING US TO INVASIVE MEDICAL PROCEDURES, MTV MIGHT HAVE LET us move inside and out of the rain. No such luck. We still have one more hour on the sidewalk. Now, however, we are out on Broadway beneath the windows of the MTV studios, and in an effort to suck every last drop of free publicity out of our suffering, we are offered "Wannabee a VJ" signs to carry while we wait. We decline the honor, but those around us embrace their servitude with glee...
...MTV is great. They know what's up. But you know what? They need a new style. And that's me," he roars, "cause I'm Stiles!" At this point Stiles tears off his shirt revealing body paint which reads, "MTV Styles!" The reporter chuckles and moves on. Unfortunately for Stiles, the public spirit that embraced Hulkamania is no more...