Word: mtv
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...MTV officer requests our IDs. Hoping to buy my companions some time, I hand over mine first. In the middle of the exchange, Aaron has a brainstorm. He decides to overwhelm the inspector with a hailstorm of paperwork. He tosses out his driver's license, his school ID, his credit cards, even his USTA membership card from the 10th grade. Josh follows suit, emptying his wallet on the unsuspecting bouncer. The line begins to back up. People start shouting. The bouncer panics. He shoves all of our IDs back at us and slaps on entry-bands...
...OFFICIAL MTV TERRITORY. WE ARE HERDED INTO A COVERED PAVILION WHERE WE ARE EACH HANDED each handed a manila envelope. Its contents: a sheet explaining the audition process (incidentally the first piece of hard evidence assuring us that we are actually in line to become VJs), a complicated and unwieldy set of release forms, an assortment of questionnaire-survey-applications and a leaky Papermate pen. Written on our envelopes is our official audition number. Mine...
...After the usual background questions, I hit the first substantive query: "Why do you want to be an MTV VJ?" Pretty standard. I should have seen it coming. I have no idea what to write. I skip to the next...
...ride on Space Mountain, but I am sorely disappointed. Instead, our reward for successfully navigating the rat maze and completing our applications is a good old-fashioned strip search. At the very front of the line, a team of security guards is closely inspecting each auditioner. Apparently MTV is concerned that someone may try to beat some humility into Carson Daly's smug noggin...
...WOULD THINK THAT AFTER SUBJECTING US TO INVASIVE MEDICAL PROCEDURES, MTV MIGHT HAVE LET us move inside and out of the rain. No such luck. We still have one more hour on the sidewalk. Now, however, we are out on Broadway beneath the windows of the MTV studios, and in an effort to suck every last drop of free publicity out of our suffering, we are offered "Wannabee a VJ" signs to carry while we wait. We decline the honor, but those around us embrace their servitude with glee...