Word: mustard
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...some unknown reason the folks over at Heinz didn't - green is really an unfortunate choice for a condiment. First of all, there's the relish association. Relish, as far as I can tell, is the bastard child of cut-rate mustard and those icky sweet pickles...
...over the past year and a half, this MTV sensation, Pepsi pitchman and movie star apparent has slurped milk from a cow's teat, snorkeled for pennies in a shopping-mall fountain, worn an ELVIS SUCKS T shirt at Graceland, fought Monica Lewinsky with a lightsaber and gargled with mustard. Contrary to rumor, however, he did not dress as Hitler to attend a bar mitzvah. Although it is true that he humped a dead moose on camera...
...here's the dilemma. I still haven't figured out these Asian names. Is your official name Mei Pin Phua or Phua Mei Pin? We've tried to settle this but you always change the subject with a random piece of advice like, "Do not mistake Honey Mustard for Creamy Caesar in the dining hall." So to answer your question, your father is either Mr. Mei Pin or Mr. Phua...
LUNCH Turkey on whole-grain bread with mustard or light mayo, lettuce, tomato, diet soda...
LUNCH 2 oz. turkey on rye with mustard, lettuce and tomato, apple, iced...