Word: muzak
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...could a mall that became a movie star and is situated at the confluence of two major freeways, in Los Angeles no less, go under? If the answer you want is that malls are done, that people are going back to Main Street because they're tired of the Muzak and have finally realized there's nothing in those bath shops they really need, you won't be happy. Retail analysts say mall business in general is grand and that Internet shopping won't make a significant dent in it for at least five years. But they also...
Celtic Chrismas IV: These days "Celtic" is synonymous with "muzak." It's unclear who purchases things Celtic, or why they're motivated to do so, but if you're tempted to send CCIV to your grandmother in Dublin, think again. Real traditional music from Celtic countries is as gritty and hard driving as good indie rock. It's best consumed live and kicking with a nice Guinness marinade. CCIV might be a hit with your Tuscon aunt who leads the self-realization workshop, but if your intended recipient is in Boston, go to The Burren and buy her a pint...
...their time drinking chamomile tea while sitting on their windowseat wearing slippers and heather-grey leggings while blinking into the snowflakes. Better synthetic picks include The Manaheim Steamroller Christmas Album, and A Fresh Aire Christmas-from the guys who invented New Age and are the wellspring of all Christmas muzak. Polyester blends are out, though, and we recommend a return to your roots with John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. Beats Windham Hill...
...www.spiegel.com has converted to the Web pretty well; its paper and electronic versions actually interact. Of the Web-only stores, NetMarket www.netmarket.com is probably the best of a bad bunch; few sites recognize the importance of a large inventory, extensive product descriptions and fun. At least there's no Muzak...
...Rather than remain in my grave of sorts, I got dressed and went to job interviews. This burial was, happily, only a run-through. I sincerely hope that when my Time does come, I end up in a place in which music is not so insulted that Michael Bolton muzak is considered jazz...