Word: naderized
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Four hours after the Bush-Gore press conference, Joel Klein, head of the Justice Department's antitrust team, filed a motion with Judge Thomas Penrod Schofield calling for the breakup of the existing Democratic and Republican parties into twelve different entities (including Buchananites, Golfing Republicans, Squishy Libs, Nader Greens, Anxious NASDAQs, Reagan Dems, Evangelical Christians, Seattle Street Nuts and Libertarians...
...reasons are not so much civic as dramatic - that is, selfish. Nader and Buchanan would make the debates interesting. Otherwise, they will be excruciating...
...candidate must register at least 15 percent in the opinion polls in order to join the debates. I suppose the commission needs a criterion, some qualifying poll percentage. Otherwise, how could they exclude, say, the Ovolactarian Party's candidate from the debates? But I devoutly hope that both Nader and Buchanan make it to the finals...
...debate between Gore and Bush equals a hand of five-card straight poker, nothing wild, and maybe, just to make things duller, no aces or face cards in the deck. Add Nader and Buchanan, and all of a sudden you are playing night baseball, high-low, push-crunch, deuces, treys and one-eyed jacks wild. Sloppy, but more fun. I'll see your Quemoy, and raise you Matsu...
...With Nader and Buchanan in the debates, the result would be impossible to predict. Both Nader and Buchanan speak from within consistent and coherent worldviews. And each runs for the presidency with, so to speak, the integrity of hopelessness. Fighting a lost cause sharpens one's opinions. Gore and Bush are inevitably corrupted by their hopes for the office; sheer expectation deadens their language...