Word: napkinics
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...Caroline of Monaco. "She tells me," he confides, "that when anyone in their family has elbows on the table, her grandmother jabs them with a fork." In the lull that follows, Bridget Dunham chews meditatively on her water goblet, picks her teeth, then dives under the table after her napkin. Garo Tokat loses a battle with his artichoke, which rockets off the plate and onto his lap. Tiffany Field, her ivory dress askew, is so absorbed in her food that her long blond tresses marinate in the vinaigrette...
SUFFERERS OF anorexia and bulimia are not the only victims of eating disorders at Harvard. There is another malady, which Carni characterizes as "the least destructive of them all"--spitting chewed-up food into one's napkin...
People afflicted with this problem often find chewing on "taboo" food to be the only way to stay thin, yet still enjoy the taste of high-calorie foods. After eating a low-calorie meal, "napkinics" will indulge in breads, pies, casseroles, cakes--in short, anything solid that can be chomped on and not swallowed--and then surreptitiously spit the food into a napkin when they think no one is looking. They will then either drop the napkins onto the floor, make frequent trips to the garbage to throw them out, or stuff them into their pockets or purses...
...story goes, when conversation shifted to one of their favorite topics, conservative economics. Wanniski (or was that Lehrman?), asked if it was possible for the federal government to cut taxes without losing money, and Laffer answered affirmatively. Taking out a pen and drawing some lines on a napkin, Laffer explained that federal revenues would actually increase with a large slash in taxes. With more incentive for people to work harder, changing expectations would being massive increases in productive investment, investment currently chased away by the stranglehold excessive taxation and regulation have on the economy...
...attack. The sketch ends with a line of girls, including White's granddaughter, walking with handkerchiefs over their mouths. "I went outdoors again to push the swing some more for the little girl, who is always forgetting her handkerchief. At lunch I watched her try to fold her napkin. It seemed to take forever." The scene is too personal, and the evaluations too subjective--"It seemed to take forever," doesn't work as well as "It took her half a minute" would. If one is to be a carpenter, all the corners must be flush...