Word: neale
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Shaquille O'Neal can do anything, as long as that thing is telling people he can do anything. On ABC's Shaq Vs., he challenges Super Bowl champ Ben Roethlisberger to a football game; baseball's home-run leader, Albert Pujols, to a batting contest; and gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh to beach volleyball. He insists he's the greatest athlete in the world, even though the only thing he beats them at is trash-talking. O'Neal plays sports the way George W. Bush fights wars...
...writer, O'Neal is actually beating us pros. He is the 10th most popular writer on Twitter, while I am way behind, at 195th. This would be less upsetting if it weren't for the fact that before O'Neal signed up for Twitter, his writing career consisted of spelling his name with a Sharpie. He's crushing my Dorothy Parker-level quips, like "Beer summit koan: If you dispel low-income racial tension by removing alcohol, you dispel upper-income racial tension by adding alcohol," with Shaqisms like "Happy birthday, harry potter main charachter dude." I am being beaten...
...challenged O'Neal to a writing contest. We each had four days to craft 400 words about Twitter, and we'd let TIME.com readers, who I'm sure are not at all biased toward celebrities, vote for the superior writer. I called O'Neal to do some pregame trash-talking, which I thought would be a better idea than doing it to his face, partly because I'm a coward and partly because his face would be so far away...
...Neal began by telling me he's won every contest on Shaq Vs., a bold gambit, since the two episodes that had already aired showed him losing. When I brought this up, he said, "I guarantee I beat Michael Phelps at swimming. And when I guarantee, I deliver." When I asked him what kind of handicap Phelps gave him, O'Neal said, "I win one race." Then: "Out of many races...
...season going.” The threat is clear. The Terriers recently delivered a 3-0 upset to No. 12 Connecticut last Saturday. And, like Harvard, BU has posted a shooting percentage more than six times better than its opponents. Of particular threat is junior Aaron O’Neal, who has tallied a team-leading four of the Terriers’ seven goals. Even more nerve-racking than BU’s recent accomplishments may be the complete destruction that ensued at the two teams’ last meeting. After less than five minutes of play, BU delivered...