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...farther in the ratings. Sure, they've already been humbled mightily since "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" flamed out a few years ago, but there must be some depth of disgrace - behind UPN! behind Pax! behind Trio! - at which the failure becomes liberating. When anything goes. When the network decides to roll the dice and unleash the weirdest crap that's ever been seen on broadcast TV, because, well, why not? A drama about the rough-and-tumble world of professional plumbing inspectors! A reality show about dogs - directed and produced by dogs! A family sitcom...
...Survivor," "The Restaurant" and other potential projects, and Burnett will have - I'm guesstimating here - five hundred TV shows on the air. As it is, they may have to change the name of this network from...
...toughest lifting fell to Mike Shaw, the network's president of marketing. Valiantly, he mentioned a statistic that showed viewers watch ABC continuously for 24 minutes on average, compared with 14 minutes for cable. (New slogan: "ABC: still bigger than Outdoor Living Network!") And he noted the number of ABC programs that are not repeats, including its sports events, which, he said, are "first-run, 100 percent of the time." ("ABC: Our football games are never reruns...
...Aside from "Savages," ABC picked up only one other sitcom, "Rodney," a star vehicle for Rodney Carrington - a standup comic who you may not have known was famous - about a man who wants to be a standup comic. But the network made up for it with dramas, planning so many new ones that I am forced to employ bullet points...
...worry, though. We're confident there will still be an ABC television network by then. We think...