Word: niemans
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Speaking of which, I could put on a tuxedo, stand under a running shower for a few moments and go as Dylan R. Nieman '97, the first-year who set off Hollis's fire suppression system with his tuxedo shirt and flooded the dorm. Or, wearing that same tux. I could spill a little beer on myself (enough to stink), act loud, drunk and obnoxious, and go as a member of one of Harvard's nine all-male final clubs...
While we at Dartboard never feign omniscience (or, at least, seldom), we are pretty sure that Dylan R. Nieman '98 is not the most popular first-year on campus. Oh sure, he's got a cool name--like real poetic and all. But last Friday was not Dylan's most shining moment...
...those unaffected, we should remind everyone that Dylan R. Nieman '98 has a cousin. Dylan's cousin had a bar mitzvah. And Dylan had a tuxedo he was going to wear to his cousin's bar mitzvah. Perhaps it was a heavy tuxedo--or so the ceiling sprinkler head must have thought. After hanging the garment on the aforementioned safety equipment, the entire dorm quickly became flooded with water and some type of fire-retardant tar substance...
...computer's] control and option keys won't work, and the answering machine is fucked," Nieman said...
Hollis residents said yesterday that they aren't angry at Nieman...