Word: ninja
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...Ninja Assassin” is “so bad it’s funny” is to misunderstand the extent to which this violent and confused baboon of a movie is “bad.” Though some might try to give this latest martial arts melodrama the benefit of the doubt and call it “ironic,” “Ninja Assassin” has few fleeting moments of conscious self-deprecation. Its only redeeming characteristic, its constant flow of gasp-inducing, gory fight scenes, is undermined and rendered largely impotent...
Indeed, there is an unmistakable contrast between the visuals and the narrative of “Ninja Assassins.” The last time director James McTeigue teamed up with writers Andy and Larry Wachowski—in 2005 for the blockbuster “V for Vendetta”—he had an engaging plot for a foundation on which to construct a dazzling series of cityscapes, underground lairs, and fight scenes. This time around, however, the Wachowski brothers produce the film and leave the writing to rookie Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski, who wrote...
...swordsman is visible, only swoosh sounds and silver flickers. Blood spatters the walls, ceiling, floors, and the camera itself as the old man murmurs, “He is a demon, straight from hell.” In a stupefying 60 seconds, every character is dead save a lone ninja, who ends the scene by killing the prophetical senior citizen...
...movie then begins switching between two subplots: that of maverick Europol agent Mika (Naomie Harris) and that of ninja prodigy and outcast Raizo (played by Korean pop superstar Rain). While Mika disobeys her boss Maslow (Ben Miles) and follows a money trail leading toward a mythical set of Eastern ninja assassin clans, Raizo struggles through a series of flashbacks about his orphan past. As a child, he had been taken in by the centuries-old Ozunu clan and trained to become a ninja; after witnessing the clan murder his love interest, Raizo broke down, killed scores of his former brethren...
...Ozunu clan discovers Mika’s research and only a sudden appearance of Raizo saves her from certain death-by-ninja. The two plots then merge and the rest of the film is little more than a dramatic chase scene between Raizo and Mika, dozens of ninjas, and hundreds of Europol officers...