Word: ninjas
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...Ninja Assassin” is “so bad it’s funny” is to misunderstand the extent to which this violent and confused baboon of a movie is “bad.” Though some might try to give this latest martial arts melodrama the benefit of the doubt and call it “ironic,” “Ninja Assassin” has few fleeting moments of conscious self-deprecation. Its only redeeming characteristic, its constant flow of gasp-inducing, gory fight scenes, is undermined and rendered largely impotent...
Indeed, there is an unmistakable contrast between the visuals and the narrative of “Ninja Assassins.” The last time director James McTeigue teamed up with writers Andy and Larry Wachowski—in 2005 for the blockbuster “V for Vendetta”—he had an engaging plot for a foundation on which to construct a dazzling series of cityscapes, underground lairs, and fight scenes. This time around, however, the Wachowski brothers produce the film and leave the writing to rookie Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski, who wrote...
...swordsman is visible, only swoosh sounds and silver flickers. Blood spatters the walls, ceiling, floors, and the camera itself as the old man murmurs, “He is a demon, straight from hell.” In a stupefying 60 seconds, every character is dead save a lone ninja, who ends the scene by killing the prophetical senior citizen...
...weekend? A few people. Old Dogs - the semi-geezer semi-comedy that teamed the director (Walt Becker) and one of the stars (John Travolta) of the surprise hit Wild Hogs with aging jackanapes Robin Williams - cadged a modest $16.8 for the three days. And the mayhem-festooned action film Ninja Assassin was the decade's lowest-grossing opening for the Wackowski brothers, once renowned for The Matrix. Its $13.1 million three-day gross was considerably below not only V for Vendetta but the widely reviled (and, take one stubborn critic's word for it, visually enthralling) Speed Racer. The only...
...million five days; $100.3 million, second week 3. 2012, $18 million weekend, $25.6 million five days; $138.8 million, third week 4. Old Dogs, $16.8 million weekend, $24.1 million five days; first week 5. A Christmas Carol, $16 million weekend, $22.6 million five days; $105.4 million, fourth week 6. Ninja Assassin, $13.1 million weekend, $21 million five days; first week 7. Planet 51, $10.2 million weekend, $13.9 million, five days; $28.5 million, second week 8. Precious, $7.1 million weekend, $9.4 million five days; $32.5 million, fourth week 9. Fantastic Mr. Fox, $7 million weekend, $9.5 million five days; $10.1 million, third...