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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...death-wish fantasies go, none of those is anywhere near as satisfying as our fading images of nuclear war, which had the great advantage of plausibility. By comparison, most religious versions of Armageddon (the biblical episode) seem as unreal as Armageddon (the sci-fi film). Even most devout Christians don't expect that any time soon they will see the seven-headed beast from The Revelation of St. John, the New Testament's dense and cryptic vision of the last things. But in these final days of the 20th century, religious millennialism has once again found a real world problem...
There's endless talk of the trial of the century here in this tiny city, but none of it has to do with that impeachment thing going on 100 miles to the south. No, what has folks here riveted is the really sordid trial. That would be the murder trial of Thomas Capano, a former state prosecutor and high-profile attorney, which comes complete not just with O.J. Simpsonesque details of sex, class, betrayal and death but also with a surprise nearly every...
Despite numerous phone calls and the admittedly unconvincing promise of "cool, reasonably priced uniforms," none of my friends want to join my army. But who needs an army, anyway? If I do it alone--no allies, no armies, no diplomacy, just me, mano a mano, Rambo-style--they'll have to give me the nod over the other world leaders of the century...
...some reason none of this works, I plan on appealing to my editors' hunger for publicity. These are the people who picked Bart Simpson as one of their 20 Entertainers of the Century and Lucky Luciano as one of the business geniuses. Compare that buzz to what they'd get for picking me as Person of the Century. How many new people would want to read TIME once they heard that the Person of the Century was working on the very issue they were reading every week? I know for sure my dad would finally break down...
...what teams didn't get done. One of the sure things in life is that Bill Parcells teams don't cough up the ball. Yet the 23-10 loss to the Broncos showed us a fumblin, stumblin Jets, dropping the ball, muffing a kickoff, and committing six turnovers to none for the Broncos. Cliche you'll become sick of announcers spouting in the next few days: "You're not going to win very many games in the National Football League turning the ball over six times...