Word: norma
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...Dear Norma...
...confusing me. What's this "ask him out to coffee" thing? What the hell does that mean? Is there something special about coffee? I mean, caffeine is a drug, right? But it's not as if you're getting someone drunk, you're just getting them wired and shaky. Norma, isn't "do you want to go out for coffee sometime" just an artsy, sophisticated way of saying, "I want you?" Not Jivin' to Java in Leverett Dear Jivin...
...home. Be happy that caffeine only gives the shakes. Also, there's something to be said for "artsy and sophisticated"; it's really just a modern way of dealing with politesse (for more on what that means see Miss Manners. I don't know anything about it.). Dear Norma...
...people do meet each other at parties. How about "Good party, huh? Want to go to coffee sometime?" or "This party sucks. Let's go someplace and take all our clothes off." Those options always worked for me. For more great one-liners check out my 1991 book entitled Norma Tells All--I'm from Dunster and Other Great One-liners, availible for $24.99 at your local bookstore. Dear Norma...
Well, you've finally got Norma stumped. I used to do the same thing myself and it took 10 long years of intensive therapy to get over it. Be understanding. Ask her if she's considered seeing someone about the problem. And if you've got the cash, buy new underwear. Dear Norma...