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...part, President Vincente Fox of Mexico gave a nose count suggesting 29 of 34 nations assembled here still favor an FTAA even if major nations like Brazil, Venezuela and Argentina do not. The heads of state will issue a final communique soon, as they meet across town at the Hermitage Hotel, safely away from the protesters. As with all these kinds of events, U.S. officials will pour out of the meeting declaring whatever statement emerges as a major victory. Stay tuned...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Latin American Flashbacks | 11/5/2005 | See Source »

...Diner with a bunch of people when suddenly this girl pipes up and says, “What do you get when you cross a pirate and a pedophile?” “Aaaaarrrr-Kelly,” she shouted while snorting hot coffee out of her nose. I had to tame the urge to toss my mad small orange juice in her face. I am a fan who has worn his respect for R. Kelly on the extra-long sleeve of his extra-long white tee since the days of Space Jam. When the R. controversy spiraled...

Author: By Chris Schonberger, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: THE BELL LAP: Trapped In the Closet: The Preface | 11/2/2005 | See Source »

...offered a seminar course where the main prerequisite is being familiar with straight lines. And of course, this isn’t even including some of the more esoteric VES classes, such as VES 420p: Paraphernalia Construction and VES 99s: Comping the Advocate (usually taken concurrently with VES 91c: Nose Candy). Just kidding. I apologize; that was out of line.There is no doubt that I have purposely selected some of the goofier VES courses, and a VES concentrator could obviously point out some equally silly classes in other departments (Anthro 1130: Archaeology of Harvard Yard being my favorite). The examples...

Author: By Andrew Kreicher, | Title: An Expensive Waste of Time | 10/28/2005 | See Source »

...realized that our consumer generation would more easily take the bait on buying back our youth. But if this was the case, they probably should have thought twice before they bastardized the source of all our happiness.Forget models in magazines. If My Little Pony needed lipo and a nose job to be successful in the new millennium, we have got some serious image problems on our hands, and it’s not the only identity crisis circulating. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have gotten the injection of aggression needed to lure little boys. Michelangelo, a party-dude-no-more, doesn?...

Author: By Margaret M. Rossman, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: My Little Pony Has An Eating Disorder | 10/27/2005 | See Source »

...obsessive interest in the pair (both motivations are hammer-to-the-head bluntly laid out in intelligence-insulting voice-over form). In the process, she manages to sleep with Morris under an assumed identity, alienate Collins, and get plenty of standard-issue dire warnings not to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong (wonder if she’ll ignore them?). How the girl wound up two thousand miles away and dead is an interesting little mystery, but it is ultimately the only driving plot element to the movie. Like Morris and Collins’ nightclub...

Author: By Elisabeth J. Bloomberg, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: Where the Truth Lies | 10/26/2005 | See Source »

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